Hi everyone. This isn’t really a topic I see on this sub a lot but I don’t know who else to talk to other than my therapist and boyfriend, and they’re great at understanding and helping me, but I figured asking the community for advice would be good too.
I have a 20 gallon tall with a betta and an L001 pleco (temporarily housing until April don’t come for me). All of my parameters are fine, my fish are doing great, and there is literally nothing going wrong with my tank.
However, I stress. And stress and stress and stress and then stress some more. It’s gotten to a point where I am having nightmares about the kinds of tanks you see on r/shittyaquariums. Like half full tank, completely brown, and all fish belly up. And then and I wake up and I have to tell myself it’s a dream, you’re fine girl, get up.
Does anyone else worry this much? I do have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, so obviously that influences this, but am I just going crazy 😅
(pic of my man Gomez napping in his duckweed for the fish tax)
Posted by mighty_meow_
13 Comments
I would say the fact that you care this much is proof you WONT have a shitty aquarium. It only gets like that because the person doesn’t care about their tank. That clearly isn’t the case here.
I had a phase of really bad aquarium anxiety myself. My Betta and my shrimp would all be dead every time I woke up and I would go over to the tank and anxiously search for them, only to find it was all good, like the night before.
Horror stories happen with every hobby, aquatics is one of many. Part of the peace that comes with this hobby is being a patient outside observer. You, for a lack of better phrasing, are the God of this ecosystem you’ve created. You introduce food, critters, and aquatic life with your very own hand. Seek a peaceful mindset; You watch this aquatic forest flourish, and you take an active, and yet, idle approach. You let your brain ponder, but you find comfort in knowing you are doing everything in your power to keep the environment as natural as possible. It’s a hard thing to balance. I had someone give me much better phrased advice along a similar line, too, when I asked about it.
People with anxiety, like us, will always have a difficult time with these types of “hands-off” hobbies because it makes us fear a change we can’t predict will happen, and destroy our progress. Thankfully, as aquatic curators, we make sure to avoid that as much as possible.
Stay educated, and mindful. Allow your aquarium to become a place of peace, not a place of worries and fears. Life will move along, and mistakes will happen, but thankfully, we learn. And we grow. Just like our tanks. ❤️
Understandable in a way. I think we all have this idea in our heads of what the tank is “supposed” to look like. But, an aquarium is also a biological mass that is gonna do what it does on occasion – just gotta learn and fix things as they happen.
But sheer anxiety when the tank is doing fine? Yeah you might be just a lil crazy.
I guess the best option is to be prepared.
I worry about my tank leaking, so I got one of those remote flood alarms under my stand. I also got one of those battery-powered airstones (that people use for live bait) in case of a power outage. And I have generic meds on hand, plus a 5 gallon bucket to use as a hospital tank (although if you just have a betta then you don’t really need a hospital tank).
Nature has a way of figuring itself out. So long as your tank is cycled and your plants are receiving enough light, you should be good.
The tanks from r/shittyaquariums are from people who don’t care about their livestock, or at least don’t bother with researching proper care. Sometimes death is inevitable in this hobby, but doing what you can in the meantime makes all the difference.
EDIT: Also get rid of the blue light setting on your tank light. Blue light creates a lot of algae and isn’t really needed for freshwater.
Here is something I’ve done when anxious thoughts take up more mental real estate than I can handle: Take your irrational thoughts and put them on paper in the form of a question. Leave the questions unanswered for an hour or overnight, then come back and answer them.
Some examples:
What if my nitrates get too high? The answer is that you’ll do a water change and do some routine maintenance.
What will I do if I wake up one day and the water is opaque/green/brown? I’ll check my filtration, do a water change, and monitor the situation.
and so on and so forth. I’ve found it helps me to get the fears out of my head and onto paper. Continue to share with your support circle and therapist! You’re doing great!
Not necessarily quality of my tank but something cracking in the middle of the night and all my fish are dead and my house destroyed.
ive had my share of bad fishtank dreams 😂 ive had dreams where my friend left me her secret room of tanks but they were all in serious states of neglect. i JUST had a dream where a fish store lady gave me two gigantic fish and they started eating eachother.
youre fine
I recommend an antidepressant for the anxiety. That’s what I had to do.
I just get this way with any creature I’m responsible for. My cat, fish, frogs.
It’s kind of why I’m currently choosing not to have kids.
Anyways I feel you.
I had a dream that assassin snails took over my tank and killed all my other snails once. Guess what I woke up to the next morning
I worry. But when I mess up, I use it as a learning opportunity.
To reduce stress, list the things that can go wrong and then make a plan to address them…like when the power goes out (keep a battery operated pump with fresh batteries on hand) or if one of your heaters goes out (have a spare and keep two in your tank).
A backup plan will help ease your anxiety.
i don’t really have any advice, but i can reassure you that MANY people get these kinds of nightmares, so you aren’t alone! mine always revolve around my parents adding stock without my knowledge and me coming back to an absurdly overstocked aquarium (them bringing home two glass catfish without my knowledge fucked me up, lol) but everyone kinda has their own versions. i mostly take it as a sign that i’m NOT like the people on shittyaquariums because i actually really care about mine 🙂
Lollll. I get nightmares all the time about my fish dying. I think it stems from stress now, and also when I accidentally killed all my fish freshman year of college. I had nightmares all the time after that. They went away for a couple years till I got into the hobby again over last summer😭